As promised, this is the second part of the series that I am going to write on ‘Identifying Resistance and how to deal with it’ in order to change old patterns.
Continuing from the first article on Resistance, (if you haven’t read it yet, I would advise you to do so) Here is the link: https://humeyramahmut.com/2017/04/12/rewire-your-brain/
Denial, is a way of resistance, some examples would be:
- If I ignore it, maybe the problem will go away
- There’s nothing wrong with me
- What good would it do to change?
- I was all right last time
One of the biggest factor of resistance is fear, Fear of the unknown.
- I might fail
- They might reject me
- I might get hurt
- It’s too hard
- I don’t trust anyone
- I am not good enough
This are some examples that show you are resisting change and may not yet be ready to heal.
Try looking in the mirror and as you look into your own eyes, at your own reflection notice your thoughts, how you feel and then say something positive to yourself :
- I am willing to change
- I am willing to learn how to love and respect myself
- You are enough
- I LOVE YOU
If you feel hesitant, resistant or you just don’t feel that you want and/or are willing to take charge and change, ask yourself why. Why is it that you keep procrastinating?
We need to understand that for every habit we have, for every pattern we continuously repeat, for every experience we go through, there is a NEED within us for it. The needs is embeded in some belief we have and hold deep within us.
There is a need deep within us for that fat, for all those failed, unhealthy relationships, the anger, the poverty and so on.
When something goes wrong we directly beat ourselves with ‘You are just weak, you are stupid, you have no willpower’, the problem is that this only adds to the load of guilt we already carry.
We need to realise that whatever we are trying to release in our lives is just a symptom, the outer effect of what’s within us.
So for now, here is a small exercise that you can do :
Take a moment and look in the mirror, you can ask questions and then be aware of how you respond to it. After you do this, write everything you felt and every thought you had This will help you identify your patterns and what you have to let go and heal.
- Stay tuned for the next article which I will go more in depth on how to change old habits and heal.